Friday, February 1, 2013

Bachelor Sean - 2013 - Week 4

Week 4 started out with 13 girls:  Lesley M., Lindsay, AshLee, Tierra, Leslie H., Catherine, Daniella, Robyn, Selma, Sarah, Jackie, Amanda, and Desiree.


Selma got the first individual date, and all the rest of the girls cried and whined because it wasn’t them.  Selma really went all out to get ready for this date, donning a gray tank top, black stretchy Capri pants, and tennis shoes.  They took a limo to the airport, where they got on a private plane and jetted off to….a desert?  Though Selma is Iraqi, she said she was not a big fan of the heat.  This date may not go well.

Sean and Selma hopped into an open jeep and cruised to Joshua Tree National Park, because Sean wanted to see if Miss Glamorous could rough it.  Selma discussed her fear of heights, and then Sean told her they were going to rock climb.  Ruh roh!  Things were "a little rocky" at first, but then Selma found her inner ass kicker, and made it to the top with gusto.

That evening, Sean took Selma to an RV “theme park” for dinner.  It was basically a bunch of trailer houses with different themes in each trailer, and was actually pretty darn cute!  They lounged around outside the trailers, and talked about love and families.  Selma was born in Baghdad, and grew up in a conservative Muslim household, where they were not even allowed to date in public.  Soooooo, she had to tell Sean that she can’t kiss him on national TV where her family might see.  I’m guessing that cuddling up under a blanket with Sean rubbing on her bare arms would probably be frowned upon, as well; but, apparently that’s okay in their culture.

Sean said he respected her decision, and he gave her the date rose.  They kept discussing how much they wanted to kiss and I was like, “Kiss de girl!”  I’ll bet they kissed after the cameras were turned off.

Group Date

Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Catherine, Amanda, AshLee, Sarah, and Tierra were chosen for the group date.

Sean took these ladies to a roller derby rink.  I’m not sure of the object of roller derby, except that hot girls roll around really fast and knock each other down.  Amanda psyched the other contestants out by telling them that she’s done roller derby before, even though she hadn’t.  Tierra said she wanted to “knock some biatches out.”  Such a lovely girl. Sarah had poor balance because (as she’s told us EVERY SINGLE TIME she’s interviewed) she only has one arm.  She cried and AshLee gave her a pep talk.  Robyn kept busting her ass every time she tried to stand up.

Amanda ended up face-planting right on her chin, and the medic had to come and check her out.  They took her to the hospital to make sure her jaw wasn’t shattered, because that would just be full of suckage right there.

[Sidenote: If you have to have an ambulance on standby every time you go on a date, then perhaps you should pick some different dating activities.  Maybe a robust game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” would be nice.]

Sean is a smart guy, and decided to just have “free skate” instead of a roller derby competition.  Took me back to Junior High there for a little bit with the disco ball and the hand holding and m-m-m-my sharona….  Oh, sorry.  I got carried away.  But now you’ve got My Sharona stuck in your head, don’t you?  You’re welcome!

Sean and the girls (minus Amanda…hope she's not dead) sat on a giant sectional couch to relax and have some drinks.

After they talked for a while, Amanda showed up and got some sympathy points from Sean.  Then Robyn asked a question of two other girls, but didn’t ask Tierra the same question, so Tierra flipped the hell out and said that she couldn’t take it anymore.  The cameras interviewed an overly dramatic Tierra sobbing that she can’t stand to be tortured like that.  Torture?  Really?  Perhaps we should send this little drama queen to a children’s cancer hospital if she thinks dealing with other women WHILE LIVING IN A FRIGGIN’ MANSION AND DRINKING CHAMPAGNE EVERY NIGHT is so tragic.  So she went and found Sean and interrupted him and Lindsay on the way to the hot tub.  Much ballyhoo and whining ensued, but Sean calmed her down, and told her to wait for a minute.  Then he went and got the damn date rose and gave it to her, much to the shock of the other girls who had witnessed her little hissy fit.  I guess it’s like they say:  The squeaky bitch gets the rose….or something like that.


Leslie H. got the next date card, along with a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings.

Sean picked up his lovely date in a convertible and took her for a shopping date on Rodeo Drive.  He told her it was kind of like the movie Pretty Woman, which implies that he thinks she might actually be a hooker.  She didn’t get insulted, but I guess I wouldn’t either if I had gotten a pair of diamond earrings that were almost as big as Roseanne Barr’s left ass cheek.  So, she picked out a beautiful dress, some sexy shoes, and a new purse.  Then she referenced Pretty Woman too, and said that Sean was like a blond Richard Gere.  Maybe, since he practically called her a streetwalker, she’s implying that he sticks gerbils in his manhole.  (Go google “Richard Gere gerbil” if you don’t know what I’m talking about here.)

Now, what are they going to do in their new fancy duds?  First of all, they went to Neil Lane jewelry store, where Neil gave her a loaded necklace with almost 120 carats of diamonds.  Hey, just like mine!  Except mine only has one diamond, and it’s actually a cubic zirconia, and it came from Target.  But other than that we’re almost twins, Leslie!

During an interview, Sean said that Leslie has so many great attributes, but that he just wasn’t feeling a romantic connection.  So, he told her that he couldn’t give her the date rose.  I am quite sad, because I was loving her personality.  Her smile was amazing, and I just want her to come over to my house and smile at me first thing every morning so I’ll have a super sparkly day.  

Rose Ceremony

Tierra decided to apologize to Robyn and Jackie about how she acted on the group date.  She admitted during her interview that the apology was totally fake.  The other girls figured out that she's just playing the game and being manipulative, so that was the topic of discussion for most of the cocktail party.  Catherine said she was Tierrable.  Hee hee, I think I love Catherine!

Speaking of Catherine....she's been flying under the radar a bit, but when they showed her and Sean talking, they seemed to really have a connection.  It's like they only had eyes for each other, so they took a walk away from the prying eyes of the other girls for some kissy face time.  It was a really sweet and emotional kiss, though not overly passionate and slurpy.  

So who got roses?  Well, Selma and Tierrable Tierra already had roses, so they were safe.  Receiving roses during the ceremony were:  Catherine, Desiree, Lindsay, Lesley, Robyn, AshLee, Sarah, Jackie, and Daniella.  This means that Crazy Amanda was sent home.  Which was good because her lipstick looked like crap at the Rose Ceremony.  It was some kind of dark burgundy, almost black, and just ewwwww!  Sean can't be expected to marry someone with that kind of poor taste in lip hues.

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