Friday, February 8, 2013

Bachelor Sean - 2013 - Week 5 (Part 1)

This week was a two-fer in Bachelor Land, with episodes on Monday AND Tuesday night.  WooooHoooo!  Double the cray-cray, double the fun!  So, I'm doing two separate posts this week.

Week 5 started when Chris Harrison came to the mansion and told the girls that they should pack their bags, because they are taking this show on the road!  First stop:  Montana.  

Mon-freaking-tana?  Whatever happened to Tahiti or the Bahamas?


The first individual date for this week went to Lindsay.

Sean picked her up in a helicopter and they took a chopper tour of Glacier National Park, which was really beautiful, and blah blah blah.  They landed and had a picnic at Blackfeet Indian Reservation and discussed who was more outdoorsy.  They played kissy-face for a little bit, and that’s about all they showed of this part of the date.  

That evening, they sat in a lodge-type place and discussed their lives.  Then they engaged in a bit more smooching in front of a roaring fire.  Sean gave her the date rose, and then they went to a concert by Sarah Darling.  

I’m assuming I am supposed to know who Sarah Darling is, but uhhhhh….not so much.  One of the songs she sang sounded vaguely familiar.  I think the producers should get The Artist Formerly Known and Now Known Again As Prince.  That might lead to a little bump-and-grind, and spice this show up a bit!

Group Date
This group date consisted of another competition, annnnnd here are your teams:

The date started with the girls and Sean walking along a country path.  They came upon some bleating critters, and one of the girls (I couldn't tell who) actually asked, “Are those dogs?”  Ummmm, perhaps she’s never seen a friggin’ live GOAT before, but surely everyone has seen one in books, right?  Mercy!  I think that whoever said it should have been sent home immediately for sheer ignorance.

So, the challenge for the group date is like a giant redneck obstacle course.  The girls will have a canoe race, and then have to carry and stack some hay.  Next, they have to saw through a 12 inch log, milk a goat, and then drink the milk.  I think I hear banjoooooooes!

The losing team will have to go back to the hotel, and the winning team gets to continue the date with Sean.

The Blue team had a big lead coming out of the canoe race, but blew it in the hay-carrying challenge.  So the Red was ahead in the cross-cut and the goat milking, but UH OH!  The goat kicked their jar of milk over and they had to start that again.  But they still got done first, with Desiree chugging the goat milk.  (Shouldn’t that be, like, pasteurized, or something?)

So, the Red Team were the victors and they had a little champagne toast with Sean.  I’m betting that they enjoyed the champagne better than the goat milk.

During an interview, Sean admitted that he really didn’t want to send the Blue Team home, so he decided to bend the rules a little and invite them to join the party, too.  The Blue girls were already back at the hotel getting ready for bed, but were thrilled to get ready and go see their man instead!  Red Team?  Not so thrilled about their return.

But, it was about to get even more kooky.  Guess who?  Yep, Tierra the Tierrable.  Tierra decided that she wasn’t sure exactly what Sean was thinking at a precise moment, so she took off to find him, and interrupted him in the middle of an interview.  Seriously?  Cling much, Tierra?  She told him that she was disappointed that she got a two-on-one date (more on that to follow), instead of a one-on-one.  I’m not sure why this information was so vital that she had to share it with him while he’s on a date with the other girls, but Sean just said he felt sorry for Tierra instead of getting annoyed.  UGH!  Why does he coddle her?

Sean tried to take time to chat with each girl, but Daniella went looking for him and saw him and Catherine all cuddled up and looking happy.  So, Daniella got upset that he’s making connections with other girls and cried when she talked to Sean later.  Then he gave her the group date rose, because he’s a big softy.


No one wants to be on the ominous two-on-one date because only one person gets a rose, and the other person goes home, so it‘s kind of stressful, right?  But Tierra, the little psycho, was positively giddy.  At first.  Until she decided that she wanted more attention and went and interrupted Sean while he was on the group date.  

On the day of the two-on-one date, Tierrable was acting so smug, because she thought that her little whining session with Sean the night before gave her an advantage.  I’m seeing a lot of Courtney and Vienna in this gal, and we all know that it didn’t work out too well for either of them in the end.

During their private time on the date, Jackie decided to warn Sean about Tierra.  Do these girls ever learn?  Every single person in the house can warn the Bachelor about some shrew, and the more they are warned, the more they are determined to hang onto said shrew.  When Tierra talked to Sean, she mentioned that some guy she had loved in the past died and that’s why she’s a Stage 4 Clinger.  Well, of course Sean fell for that crap and ended up giving Tierrable the rose, and Sweet Jackie was sent packing.

Cliché alert!  Tierra and Jackie each mentioned that she “put herself out there.”  That’s twice on one date! 

Rose Ceremony
Going into the Rose Ceremony, Lindsay, Daniella, and Tierra all have roses and are safe.

During the cocktail party, Sean overhears Tierra in one of her rants, and becomes concerned that maybe he’s been fooled and she’s not quite as sweet as a glass of Southern iced tea.  But hey, buddy!  You ignored everything the other women have been telling you, and gave poor little Tierra the rose; therefore, you’re stuck with her manipulative ass for another week.  So put on your big boy undies and stop with the self-pity.

Receiving roses during the ceremony:  Selma, Catherine, Lesley, AshLee, Sarah, and Desiree.  

So this week, we lost Jackie (during the Two-On-One date) and Robyn (during the Rose Ceremony).

During the preview for the rest of the season, Sean discussed his “journey” and actually managed to say it twice in one sentence, so that brings us to our cliché total for the season.
Putting oneself out there:  3
Journey:  7

And don't worry!  Part Two of this 5th week is coming up soon, so stay tuned!

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